


Desperation

by ThisIsLitaE



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Barisi - Freeform, Dark, Demon Deals, Demon Summoning, Fear, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Protectiveness, Supernatural Elements, Thriller, Wish Fulfillment, With A Twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:01:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27033850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisIsLitaE/pseuds/ThisIsLitaE
Summary: As teenagers, Rafael and his two best friends summoned a “demonio de los deseos”. Their wishes were granted with a warning that nothing comes for free.Twenty five years later, Rafael is a successful prosecutor with an amazing boyfriend, Dominick. Then one day, Alex comes to warn him of the demon’s return and the true price of their actions.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30
Collections: Barisi Creatures Bingo





	1. The Demon is Revealed

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit darker than what I usually write. While there is references to death, I would consider it no more disturbing than some SVU episodes to be honest. The Demon square for Barisi Creatures Bingo has allowed me to experiment with this idea.  
> I decided to split it up into three parts for an easier, and slightly more suspenseful, read. The whole thing should be released within the next week.  
> Thank you for giving it a chance and enjoy the journey. Kudos and Comments are much appreciated, so tell me what you think.  
> Also, BARISI BINGO! (First Column)

**Twenty Five Years Ago**

_If someone had told Rafael Barba the week before that he’d be attempting to summon a Demonio de los Deseos, he would have laughed in their face. But that night, Rafael, along with Alex Muñoz and Eddie Garcia, was sitting on a cold basement floor doing just that. Alex had set up candles in a circle around them, which gave the room an eerie glow. A brass bowl filled with leaves and a box of matches sat between the three friends._

_Opening the book he had brought, Alex began reading a poem in Spanish. His voice was clear and serious as he welcomed the demon into their realm. Rafael rolled his eyes. It was hard to believe the brains of their clique was acting like such an idiot. When the poem was finished, each of them was supposed to take a piece of paper and write down their most coveted wish._

_Unable to keep quiet anymore, Rafael spoke up. “You don’t really believe in this shit, do you?”_

_Eddie shrugged, writing down on his piece of paper. “If it helps me get three million dollars, why not? Worst case scenario, I’m not any more broke than I am now.”_

_Rafael sighed in response and turned to Alex. “At this rate, all we’re going to get is soaked when the candles set off the sprinklers.”_

_“Mi amigo, maybe you’re too scared to write down your wish because you know I’m right,” Alex replied, with an air of cockiness. “Be sure to thank me when you get that Harvard scholarship.”_

_“You mean when this doesn’t work and I get in to Harvard on merit. Sure, Alex.”_

_“If only they gave scholarships for big mouths,” Alex shot back._

_Rafael wanted to wipe the smug look off his friend’s face. There had always been competitiveness between him and Alex, both of them being as smart as they were. Years of friendship meant they knew nearly everything about each other. Alex knew that Rafael would do anything for the Harvard scholarship. That’s why Rafael, despite thinking it was ludicrous, had tagged along to the summoning. Among all the doubt, and desire to prove his friend wrong, was the secret flicker of hope that it might work._

_Once each of them had written their wish on the paper, Alex instructed them to put it in the bowl. Eddie placed his paper face up, advising his wish for three million dollars. Alex went next, stating his wish for a career in politics where he could make a difference. Rafael reluctantly put his paper in the bowl. As expected, his wish was to get the full scholarship to Harvard Law School and become a successful lawyer._

_Alex lit a match and held the flame to the papers. It created a mini fire with the leaves, causing a strong herbal smoke to fill the air. Rafael let out a breath, Eddie coughed a little at the smoke and Alex opened up his book once more. Chanting filled the air, much louder this time, as Alex again invited the Demonio de los Deseos into the basement. Rafael watched the papers turn to ash in the bowl, wondering when he could call time on their failed ritual._

_Suddenly, a loud boom echoed throughout the room. The three friends were startled as a huge cloud of smoke came up from the bowl. Rafael backed away, accidently knocking over a candle as he went. His eyes widened as the haze cleared to reveal something. A tall figure with dark hair and a goatee stood over them, smiling at each of them in turn. The demon looked almost human, apart from pointed ears and the spiked tail poking out from his suit._

_“Holy shit!” Eddie cried out, laughing despite the fear in his eyes._

_Rafael was at a rare loss for words as he continued to stare at the man-like demon. A part of him wanted to run up the stairs and never look back. But he couldn’t bring himself to leave his friends. The demon stared him down with dark eyes, as though reading his thoughts._

_Alex cleared his throat and went to speak. “Welcome, Demonio. I trust you have -”_

_The demon raised his hand, silencing Alex. “You shall call me Oscur. I have received your wishes and am prepared to offer you what you desire.”_

_“Just like that, huh?” came Rafael’s snarky reply the moment he found his voice. Like Eddie, he was petrified by the new development but using humour to hide it._

_“You shall get your Harvard scholarship. And your political career. And your three million dollars.” The demon answered, looking to each of them as he recounted their wishes. “But, of course, nothing comes for free.”_

_“We understand, Oscur,” Alex said, his tone carrying respect to the point of blatant ass kissing._

_“What’s the catch?” Rafael asked, bluntly. In his study of copious law books, he’d learned to always read the fine print._

_Oscur chuckled as he turned back to Rafael. “I do a favour for you, now. Sometime down the line, you do a favour for me. Seems like a win-win situation, wouldn’t you agree?”_

_Eddie nodded enthusiastically, figuring he had nothing to lose. “Hell yeah!”_

_Alex stood up and reached out a hand to shake Oscur’s. “I can accept the terms of your agreement, so long as my political career takes off.”_

_“I assure you, it will.”_

_The demon gave a small wave and an athame appeared in his hand. At the sight of the blade, Rafael shook his head and stood up. He made his way towards the door, determined to leave the whole experience behind him. Alex and Eddie stopped him as he reached the stairs._

_“You can do what you want but I’m out,” Rafael stated firmly._

_“Come on, Rafa, don’t wimp out when we can get everything we want.” Eddie placed a hand on Rafael’s shoulder. “When are we ever going to get breaks in life like this?”_

_Alex looked into Rafael’s eyes with complete earnestness. “You’re smart, so you may get that scholarship by studying. But it’s not a sure thing, this is. You have a chance to get the best education for free and do some good with it. Not to mention, the nice suits you can buy with your lawyer salary.”_

_Rafael tried to remain firm in his decision, even though he could see Alex’s point. “Who knows what kind of favour he wants in exchange for this.”_

_“Who knows what life will be like it we don’t take it,” Alex retorted. “If you really want to risk being stuck here, in the barrio, with your old man, then go.”_

_Rafael’s hand turned into a fist at the mention of his father. “Don’t talk about my dad,” he spat at Alex._

_Eddie stepped between them, his posture demanding calm. “Here’s how it’s going to go. We’re all for one and one for all. If Rafael is feeling something’s not right, then we’re all out.”_

_Oscur was twirling the athame between his fingertips, watching them with curious eyes. “What’s it going to be, gentlemen?”_

_Rafael took a deep breath, his heart beating fast. Eddie’s arm was draped protectively around his shoulders, while Alex waited impatiently for a decision. The answer to his dreams stood right before him. It was a deal with a demon, but one that allowed Rafael to do some good in the world. Whatever the catch was, it couldn’t be worse than trying to claw out of the neighbourhood or being stuck with his abusive father._

_Rafael stepped forward, looking into Oscur’s knowing eyes. “Let’s make a deal.”_


	2. The Price is Revealed

**Present Day**

Rafael sat on his seat in Forlini’s, thankful the day was ending. Being blindsided in the courtroom was never a fun experience. That day’s revelation of the victim's scandalous text messages had swung the jury towards the defence. Rafael jotted down notes, desperately trying to figure a way to work around it. No matter what angle he played, he predicted the case would end in a plea deal at best.

The ADA packed away his folder with a sigh, knowing that no further work could be done. He downed his scotch and figured he’d order another to wash the day away. As he was signalling the bar tender, someone sat down on the stool beside him. Rafael rolled his eyes, wondering why the man had chosen that stool when there were plenty of others available.

“They said I could find you here, Rafa.”

The familiar voice caused Rafael to pause. He studied the man to confirm. Alex Muñoz stared back at him with bloodshot eyes. The disgraced politician looked like he’d been on a week-long bender. Rafael almost didn’t recognise his childhood friend. He imagined the dishevelled appearance had something to do with the recent passing of Alex’s daughter.

“We should have listened to you.”

Rafael swallowed at hearing the words. Years before, Alex had been caught up in a scandal with an underage girl. Rafael had tried to help, even risking his career, but Alex refused to listen. Their friendship ended as a result and they had stopped speaking to each other. Since then, Rafael had learned about the highs and lows of his former friend’s life through media reports.

“Can’t do much about it now. All you can do is stop sleeping with underage girls,” Rafael replied, taking a sip from his refilled scotch glass.

“I’m not talking about that,” Alex snapped. He lowered his voice before continuing. “I’m talking about Oscur.”

At hearing the name, a chill ran through Rafael’s body. His mind flashed back to the fateful night twenty five years prior. Oscur, the wish demon, had told them he’d come to collect one day. The warning hadn’t stopped the three friends from getting cocky over their good fortune. Even the once reluctant Rafael had managed to put the experience behind him. As the years went by, the fear that Oscur would return had lessened.

“Rafael… Eddie’s dead,” Alex advised, his hands trembling as he went on. “Last night. They say he killed himself.”

Rafael’s jaw dropped in disbelief. Eddie, the muscle of their group, was the one who could handle anything. Though the two of them had also gone their separate ways over the years, the news shook the prosecutor to the core. A few times he’d thought about reconnecting with Eddie but ultimately deemed other things more important. If his once loyal protector had met an end at the hands of Oscur, Rafael could only imagine what fate awaited him.

He pushed his scotch away, feeling too sick to drink anymore. Still not wanting to believe what Alex was inferring, Rafael tried to coax some reasonable doubt. “What does this have to do with Oscur? Eddie worked with the DOC, which can -”

Alex cut Rafael off. “Oscur came to me first. Your soul or the soul of someone you love, that’s his price.”

“So why are you still here?” Rafael asked, even though he had a pretty good idea.

Alex ran a sweaty hand through his hair before continuing. “I couldn’t do it. I tried to beat the system to save my own skin. Since Yelina and I are separated, I figured he’d go after mi madre. She’s got terminal cancer and doesn’t want to fight anymore… But he took my daughter.”

Rafael looked at his friend, searching for any trace of lies. The level of shame on Alex’s face could not be faked. It was clear the politician was telling the truth. “You’re saying Eddie sacrificed himself to save his kid?”

“After I told him what happened to Ava, I know he did. Eddie would take a bullet for those he loved, even me after I screwed up.” Alex turned to Rafael, placing a hand on his friend’s arm. “Now I’m telling you. I’m so sorry, Rafa. But if he doesn’t get you, it will be someone you love. There is no stopping him.”

Before Rafael could respond, Alex wrapped him in a tight hug. The ADA didn’t return the gesture, still trying to process everything that was said. He wished he could rewind to when the courtroom blindside was his biggest problem. Now Alex was warning Rafael of impending death. As the realisation dawned on him, he hugged Alex back.

Rafael thought about the most important person in his life. Dominick Carisi was the smart and gorgeous detective, soon to be lawyer, he’d been with for over a year. In that moment, all Rafael wanted to do was embrace his boyfriend and not let go. There was no way to tell how much time they had left together.

By the door of Forlini’s, an ominous figure stared at the two men. Rafael’s breath hitched when he spotted the familiar goateed face and fancy blue suit. Any flicker of doubt about what Alex had said was completely gone. Oscur’s dark eyes met Rafael's, silently warning him that his hours were numbered. The demon smiled before disappearing into nothing.

Rafael pulled back from Alex, grabbing for his briefcase. “I have to go, now.”

Alex caught Rafael’s arm. Tears were running down his face. “It wasn’t worth it, Rafael. I’m so sorry.”

Rafael rushed out of the restaurant, making a beeline towards the SVU precinct. He charged through people crowding the path, cursing cross walks that slowed his momentum. Taking out his phone, Rafael dialled Dominick. He could barely hear the ring tone over his heart pulsing in his ears.

When Dominick didn’t answer, Rafael blinked back tears. He was gasping for air as he tried to call again. His pained legs and chest were begging for a rest, but the prosecutor knew he couldn’t stop. He needed to see the man he loved before it was too late. Rafael let out a groan of pain when his call to Dominick went unanswered again.

While the walk felt longer than normal, he finally arrived. On his haste to enter the building, Rafael nearly missed Olivia Benson coming out the door. She greeted him with a friendly wave, halting him in his tracks. It suddenly occurred to Rafael that Dominick wouldn’t be the only one he was leaving behind.

“Is everything okay?” Olivia asked, her expression filled with concern. “You look like hell.”

Rafael was practically hyperventilating in order to catch his breath. His eyes burned from attempts to hold back tears. Nearly all his muscles ached from the rush. Everything he wanted to say to Olivia stuck in his throat. Rafael threw his arms around her, hugging her.

“Thank you, for everything, Liv,” he blurted out. “You are a great friend and I love you.”

“I love you, too, Rafa. But, to be honest, you’re scaring me.” Olivia rubbed Rafael’s back and continued to stroke his arm as their hug parted. “Tell me what’s going on.”

Rafael wanted to tell her the truth. Since they’d began working together, Olivia had become one of his closest friends and confidants. But there was no way he could explain everything, particularly that he had to die to protect Dominick. He forced a smile on his face that held only for a second.

“I’m sorry,” Rafael said, unable to portray the full extent of the apology. “I received some bad news and I just need to be with Dominick right now.”

“Well, I hope you feel better. If you need to talk, call me.” Olivia was still studying Rafael like she was trying to figure out his secret. “Tell Carisi to take you home so you can get some rest.”

Rafael nodded and gave her arm a squeeze. As he entered the building, he turned to watch Olivia walk away. It hurt knowing that it was likely the last time he’d see her. Dealing with Dominick was set to be a thousand times worse. He could only pray that his boyfriend would be able to get through life without him.


	3. The Consequences are Revealed

When Rafael entered the SVU precinct, he spotted Dominick walking out from the interrogation room area. The ADA stood in the doorway, taking a moment to appreciate the man he loved. It was hard to fathom that the next time they touched could be the last. If Rafael had known their time together was so limited, he would have asked out the younger man the second they met.

Being tall, lean and attractive, Dominick naturally drew attention to himself. Rafael smiled as the detective’s soft lips pouted in thought. He’d never wanted to kiss someone so much. It was hard to believe a man so smart and kind, if a little moody and persistent at times, had fallen in love with him.

As though sensing he was being stared at, Dominick turned towards the doorway. Rafael watched the ice blue eyes light up upon seeing him. He wasted no time in running to embrace the man tightly. Rafael buried his face against the detective’s neck, inhaling the scent of Dominick’s smooth skin. He wanted to melt when a pair of arms wrapped around him.

“It’s nice to see you, too,” Dominick chuckled as he pulled back to meet Rafael’s face. On seeing his boyfriend was in distress, his expression immediately changed. “Hey, Rafi, are you okay?”

“I love you, Dominick, more than I ever thought I could love a person,” Rafael said shakily, the rogue tears finally escaping.

“I love you, too,” Dominick replied, stroking Rafael’s cheek and wiping the tears away. Noticing a few people staring, he led them both into the bunk room for some privacy.

Once they were alone, Rafael pressed his lips to Dominick’s, kissing him warmly. He took the bottom lip between his own, sucking it hungrily. His tongue begged for entrance into Dominick’s mouth. Rafael wanted to savour the taste of his boyfriend’s kiss for as long as they had left. He dragged Dominick over to one of the beds, keeping their lips locked.

“Whoa, we are still at the station.” Dominick broke from the kiss as he was pulled onto the bed. He took Rafael’s hands, squeezing them gently. His expression reflected concern and love. “Tell me what’s going on.”

Looking into Dominick’s eyes, Rafael wanted to tell everything to the man he loved. But there were more important things to say. “I’m so sorry if I was ever hard on you or pushed you away. Because working with you and being with you has been the best years of my life. You deserve all the happiness in the world.”

Dominick brushed back the strands of Rafael’s hair that had fallen out of place. “Listen to me, I do have all the happiness in the world. I have a job that I love, great friends and family and, most importantly, I have you.” He began to rub Rafael’s back. “Now, I’m going to take you home and take care of you, okay?”

“Not so fast, my friend.”

A third voice sounded in the room. Rafael was sure he felt his heart stop when he looked up to see Oscur. The demon stood by the bunk room door, blocking the only exit. Not that it mattered, since there was nowhere to run from him. Rafael tried to grab on to Dominick but the detective had stood up to address the intruder.

“Listen, this is a private bunkroom and you -” Dominick began calmly but stopped when he noticed the demon’s tail.

Oscur smirked as he eyed Dominick up and down. “Nice pull, Rafael. You two make a cute couple.”

Dominick reached for his gun. His gaze remained on Oscur as he gripped it in his hand. He didn’t aim it, having no justification for doing so, but he felt better having it. Rafael grabbed his boyfriend’s wrist and squeezed his eyes shut.

“You can’t shoot him,” Rafael explained, his voice breaking. “He’s a Demonio de los Deseos – a wish demon.”

Dominick sat back down on the bed, mouth open with shock. “What the heck are you talking about?”

Rafael looked at Oscur rather than Dominick, facing his fate head on. “Alex, Eddie and I summoned him twenty five years ago. We made wishes and he granted them. He told us there was a catch but we got desperate and cocky.”

Oscur gave a nod of agreement, pacing across the room. “It’s funny how the guy who wanted to back out was the only one who appreciated his gift,” he commented, gesturing to Rafael. “Eddie took less than five years to piss his money away. As for Alex, he always thought he was bullet proof. I assume he told you my price already.”

Rafael paused, spilling more tears as he turned to Dominick. He finally revealed the truth. “My soul or the soul of someone I love.”

Dominick cupped Rafael’s cheeks, leaning in to kiss him over and over. His own eyes began to water. “No, Rafael... no.”

“Yes, actually. I held up my end. Now it’s your turn.” Oscur clapped a hand on Rafael’s back. “It’s not that I want to do this -”

“Then don’t!” Dominick snapped desperately, wrapping a protective arm around his boyfriend.

“Oh, I can see why you love this one!” Oscur exclaimed, finding joy in Dominick’s attempts to save Rafael. “I assume you’ve made your choice.”

An athame materialised in Oscur’s hand. Rafael recognised it from the night they summoned the demon. The three friends had sworn a blood oath in order to obtain their wishes. Thinking back to the night, the ADA wished he had left when he had the chance. The demon impatiently wrapped the blade against his palm. Rafael bit his lip and reached out for it, knowing what he had to do.

“I’m sorry, Dominick. I love you.”

Dominick swiftly slapped the athame out of the demon’s hand. He pulled Rafael’s wrist back, determined not to let go. His hands and voice were both shaking. “So what if you did something stupid years ago. I love you and I’m not losing you. We’re going to get married and have a whole life together, okay?”

“If he doesn’t take me, he’ll take you!” Rafael cried out. “Don’t you get that?”

Rafael felt guilty for speaking so harshly. If the situations were reversed, he would have reacted as his boyfriend did. It was precisely his need to protect Dominick that had him reaching for the knife in the first place. Rafael didn’t want to go but he wouldn’t let someone else pay for his mistake.

“This is touching but who’s it going to be?” Oscur pointed the blade back and forth between the two men.

“Neither.” Dominick stated, stopping Rafael from standing. The detective reached into his pocket and pulled out the rosary he always carried. He wrapped the beads around both his and Rafael’s wrists. Taking his boyfriend’s hands, Dominick began to pray for their lives. “Hail Mary full of grace…”

Rafael felt touched by the effort, despite knowing it was futile. He brushed his lips over Dominick’s knuckles. “It’s not going to work.”

Dominick stopped his prayer, looking seriously at his lover. “I’ve got you Rafael, I’ve always got you.”

Rafael wanted to believe in the power of God the way Dominick did. But he knew that Oscur wasn’t going to walk away without something. The detective being distracted by praying offered Rafael the chance to do what he needed to do. He pressed a final kiss into the silvery blonde strands of Dominick’s hair, whispering another declaration of love.

Turning to Oscur, Rafael was about to reach for the athame. However, he found the demon had stepped back from them. Dark eyes bore into the cross hanging from the rosary beads. Rafael realised that Dominick’s plan was actually working. A breath of relief escaped him. He turned to Dominick and pressed their foreheads together, repeating the prayer.

Oscur yelled out. “It’s going to be like that, huh?”

Suddenly, a bang sounded and a large cloud of smoke filled the room. Rafael and Dominick both jolted at the noise, turning to where Oscur had been standing. The demon had disappeared. Rafael checked his hazy surroundings, making sure Oscur wasn’t hiding in any corners.

Despite confirming they were safe, Rafael was still trembling. He grabbed onto Dominick, pressing their bodies as close as possible. Rafael kept listening to the sounds of his boyfriend's breathing, happy that they were both still alive. He had Dominick for at least one more day and hopefully a whole lifetime to come.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” Rafael muttered hysterically into Dominick’s shoulder.

“It’s okay. It’s over.” Dominick eased back so their faces met. “I can’t believe you were prepared to die for me. But don’t ever do it again.”

Rafael kissed Dominick all over his face, until their lips found each other. The couple remained sitting on the bed, afraid that moving could trigger Oscur’s return. Neither of them dared let go of the rosary, still wrapped around their wrists and clasped between their hands. 

The sound of Rafael’s phone ringing made both men jump. Still on edge, they tried to ignore it. While the persistent caller held on, Dominick’s phone began to chime as well. Rafael went to reject the call when he saw it was Olivia. After what had happened, he figured it was best to give her two minutes.

Rafael showed his phone to Dominick. “It’s Liv. Probably checking to see if we made it home.”

A confused Dominick also held up his phone. “I have Lieu, too. How’s she calling us both?”

Both screens continued to flash Olivia’s name. Rafael could feel his heart beating faster and his cheeks burning. He answered the phone, putting it on speaker, hoping to hear Olivia on the other end. Instead, there came some distinct male chuckling.

“You can put the rosary down gentleman,” Oscur’s voice explained. “I got what I came for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Let me know what you think.  
> Hopefully that twist wasn't too twisted for you.


End file.
